Intimacy Therapy that addresses sexual concerns of couples or individuals — also known as Sex Therapy — is Talk Therapy (i.e. Psychotherapy) aimed at helping people to achieve a fulfilling sex life and satisfying intimate relationship.
Mind that Intimacy Therapy may also address non-sexual concerns, such as emotional, intellectual, spiritual, and experiential intimacy, but in this article we specifically focus on Intimacy Therapy that deals with people’s sex life.
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Problematic issues in the sexual sphere often lead to diminished physical and emotional/mental wellbeing of a couple/individual, which may become the trigger to seek out Intimacy Therapy. Sexual issues may include the frequency of having sex, low sex drive, sexual addiction, lack of interest in sex, divergent sexual desires and preferences, gender identity and sexual orientation, sexual dysfunctions/disorders (such as premature ejaculation, erectile dysfunction, pain during sexual intercourse), low sexual confidence or low self-esteem, difficulties or inability to reach a sexual orgasm, among other factors.
In Intimacy Therapy, couples and/or individuals freely discuss and explore their physical and emotional feelings, thoughts, and experiences regarding their sex life. Sessions are guided by a professional, certified sex/intimacy therapist (usually licensed psychologists or physicians who have undergone specialized training), and can be conducted in-person or online.
The fact of explicitly addressing sexual issues can help people improving awareness, communication, and understanding of subtle acts, body talk, and suppressed or repressed emotions and may be of help to change or manage certain behaviors, thereby enhancing intimacy, sexual satisfaction, and overall mental wellbeing.
The therapist typically focuses on discussing psychological, biological, environmental, work-related, traumatic, medical, and other personal aspects with the affected couple, individual, or with each partner in a relationship individually, trying to identify underlying causes of intimacy issues and subsequently providing attitudinal and behavioral means/tools to deal with those.
Sessions are exploratory, supportive, and educational (the latter may include sex education), but the therapist may also recommend specific exercises (i.e. give “homework”) to encourage couples or individuals to improve communication and attention, change certain thought patterns, enhance the ways they touch and make love, and/or to explore skills to better manage and accept concerns.
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Mind that Intimacy Therapy is not by itself “physical,” meaning that it should not be equated with Somatic Sex Therapy or Somatic Sex Coaching. Thus, characteristically there is no direct sensual, sexual, or genital touch involved in the sessions, no hands-on teachings of using sex toys, sex positions, or erotic techniques, and the participants stay clothed.
Nonetheless, somatic therapy techniques that focus on the connection between mind and body have become increasingly integrated in classical intimacy therapy sessions. That is, intimacy therapists also tend to focus on physical sensations to address the sexual issues people deal with, helping them to become more aware of their bodies as a means to enhance their ability to experience more pleasure and intimacy. Somatic techniques used may include modalities such as breathwork, body mapping, body awareness and movement exercises.
As a final word on this, it’s important to note that although the goal of Intimacy Therapy is to improve the couple’s or individual’s sexual and intimacy relationship, the exploration of concerns might lead to discovering underlying problems that need to be addressed and treated by other types of professionals. Think here of physical-medical problems (such as diabetes, hormonal issues, circulatory system problems, or past surgery, etc.), structural depression or anxiety, or past traumatic experiences (such as war, a car accident, child or sexual abuse, natural disasters, etc.).
Hence, Intimacy Therapy may be able to improve or perhaps entirely resolve people’s sexual issues, but it may also turn out to be just one part of a broader set of treatments the affected person(s) need(s) to engage in.
