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The term BDSM is and abbreviation usually interpreted as B/D (Bondage and Discipline), D/S (Dominance and Submission), and S/M (Sadism and Masochism). In its daily use, it is common to also include kink, fetish, and roleplay activities into the term.
The BDSM practice covers a wide range of activities, forms of interpersonal relationships and power dynamics, and also specific subcultures. In fact, in BDSM communities it’s customary to welcome anyone and anything non-normative.
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BDSM practices may include phenomena such as Bondage Play, Animal Play (also called Petplay), masochism, sadism, Breath Control Play, Impact Play (for instance, spanking i.e. flogging), Pegging, Sexual Denial Play, Edgeplay, Age Play, Chastity Play, Sensory Deprivation, Wax Play, genital torture, Sensation Play, Medical Play, Cosplay (Costume Play), erotic humiliation, Financial Domination (Findom), and Needle Play, to just name a non-exhaustive list of activities.
An important aspect of understanding the BDSM domain is that although mostly associated with sex and eroticism, the activities within the realm are not necessarily sexual or erotic. However, what unites all participants is that they derive some form of pleasure from their BDSM activities, even if it’s only to allow their play partners (either in a private relationship or in a commercial, professional relationship) to indulge their own needs, desires, kinks, or fetishes.
In BDSM activities and relationships, it’s common that the participants take on roles which often involve inequality of power, which typically translates to either a submissive or dominant role.
The dominant partner (usually called the dom or top) takes psychological and/or physical control over the submissive partner (called the sub or bottom). Partners may sometimes also switch roles during a BDSM session. Mind that a BDSM session is also known as a “BDSM scene” or “BDSM play.”
It’s commonly agreed upon that BDSM roleplay activities should always be safe, sane and consensual (SSC), which means that everything is based on safe activities, that all participants are of sufficiently sound mind to consent, and that all participants indeed consent.
An important structure of BDSM Play is that it is possible for the consenting partners to withdraw their consent at any point during a session. That is, by using a safe word (i.e. safeword) that was agreed upon on in advance or by using a safe symbol or safe gesture (the latter two especially when speech is restricted), the session will be immediately aborted.
People are drawn to engaging in BDSM for a variety of reasons. For instance, motives may be curiosity, wanting to experience new sensations, exploring power dynamics, self-discovery, enhancing intimacy, experimenting with (sexual and non-sexual) fantasies, or release of emotions, stress, and anxiety, to name some.
Some people enjoy the physical and emotional sensations that BDSM practices evoke, such as bondage, pain, pleasure, or humiliation, or sometimes they just want to see what their limits and boundaries are.
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Others are drawn to the power dynamics of domination, submission, control, or vulnerability, which sometimes serves as a reflection or abreaction with regard to their daily lives in the domains of society, work, family, or partner relationship.
There are also people who come to intense relaxation and stress relief by either being able to enact their fantasies, or perhaps take either a submissive or a dominant role in BDSM play.
BDSM can also deepen intimacy and connection between couples because of the shared experiential intimacy and the mutual exploration of vulnerability, trust, communication, boundaries and desires.
Individuals who do not have a partner or have a partner who is not willing to engage in BDSM practices, may want to hire a professional who offers BDSM experiences, such as a Dominatrix or they may want to join other likeminded individuals who practice together in a BDSM Dungeon (a dedicated BDSM play space or play zone) or in BDSM play parties or BDSM clubs.
